What Mother's Day is for...

Mother's Day.

People seem to have a love it/hate it relationship with this holiday. Either they love the attention they can give/get, the brunches, gifts, flowers, thoughtful cards, recognition and blossoming new life in the Spring that mirrors the lives that earned them the title 'mother' in the first place.....OR.....they hate it...it's insensitive to women who miscarried, can't concieve, had abusive/absent mothers, and having a day to honor mothers exalts one female role over another, leaving the single woman or the woman childless by choice out.

Hmmm.....I think I'll address the 'hate it' crowd first, because that's the 'seriously?!?' that started this whole train of thought in the first place.

We set days of remembrance and honor for specific people, events or groups that have contributed something to our society. Martin Luther King Day, President's Day, St. Patrick's Day, Armed Forces Day, Memorial Day, Family Day, Mother's and Father's Day, Grandparent's Day, Secretary's Day, Bosses Day, Pearl Harbor Day....you get the idea. These are all very specific. All of them have a day because we decided to set aside a time each year to remember something/someone that we didn't want to forget. I remember as a child asking my parents why there wasn't a 'Kid Day', to which they aptly replied, 'EVERY day is Kid Day.' I think the narcissist in all of us wants to say 'hey that's not fair' when someone gets recognition and we don't, or we wax sympothetic to all the poor people out there who are getting left out. But the very fact that we have a 'day' for someone means we were trying to make sure they didn't get left out, because they probably would have.

Mother's Day is for mothers, ofcourse. The mothers who have loving children and spouses, who get appreciated all year anyway don't really NEED this holiday. Mother's day is fun for them, and worth celebrating, cause every mother is worth honoring....but who really needs this holiday? I think Mother's Day should be more aptly named 'Unappreciated Mother's Day.' I know more mothers who are overlooked, ignored, blamed, neglected, unloved and belittled than I do mothers who are really appreciated. For a lot of moms, this one day is the only time they get a 'hey, thanks', even if it's just from a stranger handing her a tulip on her way out of church. It's a day for a mother who's lost her little sparrow before she had the chance to meet it, to remember her love for that child and have an arm wrapped around her and a gentle 'happy Mother's Day' whispered in her ear, letting her know she is not overlooked either. It's for those people who've lost their mothers to remember them and visit their memories. It's a day for those whose physical mother's abandoned or abused them to seek out the person who lovingly filled that place that was left damaged, and thank them. It's for that mom who is hurting and riddled with guilt to have someone (anyone) say 'you are worthy of being loved, even if you children never see past their own hurt to reach out to you.' It's for those women who don't want children, or who are trying but can't conceive to recognise the women that brought them into the world, and to turn their minds to the motherly role they are filling in their lives now. It's not a day of exclusion. It's a day of honoring the often excluded. It's so that anyone who has filled the role of 'mother' to anyone can be appreciated before they go to their graves. It's for every woman who's looked down on for birthing a child to get something other than a dirty look or complete apathy. It's for all those mom's whose kids whine and yell for 'equality' when mother's day comes around, who, for the desire for everyone to be honored, honor no one.


For all those people who love Mother's Day....good for you. Have fun, find that lady who is mom to you and show her a good time. You have a good excuse this one day a year to make a fuss over her, a reminder to say thanks. It's just as much for your benefit as it is hers. Find every mother you can to honor her, those who've loved and lost, those who desperately want to be a mother, and those who's kids don't give her the time of day.